Tattoo

Tattoo

The wind blew all the dried leaves in an array of dancing, colorful characters that would rise up as if out of the ground. They would spin and twirl, flitting about with each changing gust of the wind’s puppeting strings. These spirit like leaf beings flowed and floated in a dazzling array of deep robust reds, oranges, flecks of gold, and touches of silver, all around them. Moving and lifting in a seemingly choreographed intricate routine. There they sat, hand in hand, on the picnic table totally and completely engrossed by the spectacle that was a typical fall afternoon performance put on by mother nature herself. Two young people in love, being wrapped in autumn’s cool embrace.  I, on my rickety porch swing, watched and drunk in the entire scene, allowing it to transport me back to memories of times long since passed.

There the two of us were nervously exchanging idle chatter and eagerly anticipating what we both hoped would come. He reached out tentatively and took my hand in his as we gingerly walked to the park swings.  “So, um, tell me that you found the note that I put in your math book this morning!” “Note? What note? I totally just used my math book to do my homework, and I didn’t find a note!” Suddenly the already nervous look on his face turned into the look of sheer panic. “I put a note in your math book this morning thinking that you would find it later on. Oh, man, please don’t tell me that it fell out somewhere in the hallway! If any of the guys find it, they’ll never let me live it down!” I was enjoying the sudden squeaky quality his voice had taken on as well as the way his face changed as he searched the recesses of his memory trying to trace back his actions of the morning. “Yep, there was no note anywhere in my book…” His eyes met mine and I knew that instantly he would know that I was pulling his leg. Suddenly and with overwhelming speed he had me pinned against the swing set legs. “Ok, ok, I’m sorry, I’m sorry please stop!”  I was laughing hysterically finding it difficult to breathe in between the peels of laughter. “Oh, you think you’re really funny, huh?! You think it’s funny to see me panic, huh?! I bet it’s not so funny now, is it?!” He was tickling me relentlessly. Now it was his turn to enjoy the panicked look on my face. “Please stop, I’m sorry! I won’t do it again! Please stop!”

After regaining my composure, he led me to the swings. The swings with their old black rubber seats, and cold thick chains laying in wait to transport their riders on unforeseen adventures. He pushed me slowly, and I remember how the cool autumn breeze hit my face,  brought out the red apples of my cheeks and gave a bite to my lungs with every rise and fall of  breath. We were both quiet as he pushed me higher and higher in the swing. My mind was reeling with memories of every romantic love scene I had ever seen flash across the movie screen. I wanted so much in that moment to have the power to read his mind, and be able to know if he was just as nervous and scared as I was. Was he having feelings of doubt that maybe I don’t feel as strongly for him as he does for me, like I was? Thoughts of, how is this going to happen? Will I know what to do? Will I like it? Oh my God, will he like it? As I was running through this laundry list of doubts in my mind, I hadn’t noticed that the swing had stopped swinging .  His face was close to mine, and then as if in a dream, his lips were gently touching my lips. The world had stopped in that brief moment. A whirlwind had swept us up in a warm wave of tingling emotion. Every doubt, every care, every problem or concern that I had melted away with my first kiss. I tattooed in my mind every little detail of that moment. The sound of the leaves rustling in the breeze blowing around in a colorful kaleidoscope of constantly changing hues and shapes. The feel of his warm breathe on my face and the way our heartbeats seemed to sync with one another, his hand gently holding my face and pulling me closer to him. I wanted to memorialize this experience forever.

I don’t seem to recall when our kiss ended, but in my memory it goes on forever. Walking home that afternoon I felt like I was in this impenetrable bubble. I ran over and over again in my mind the movie reel of emotions that had played out that day. The young lovers I had been watching from across the street were making their departure followed by a wisp of windblown leaves that almost seemed like fingers reaching out for them to stay. With a smile lightly draped across my face, I closed my tired eyes. My body filled with that same anticipation of that long ago day, the inevitable feeling of things to come. Now, sitting here on my front porch swing, with this tattered old shawl wrapped around my shoulders, I allow the ghosts of times gone by to come and sweep my soul away onto the dance floor of eternity.

Written by: Marissa h.k. Gibson 01/26/2011